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Today is a new day... Today is my New Year's Day. Let's be real.... I can not start a new years resolution with my kids still home from break. Nope...not doing it. But today they are back in school after winter break and life has resumed to it's normal order and routine.
This year I really hesitated to make any new years resolutions. I wanted to so badly and have many challenging areas that I could improve upon, but honestly I was sick of failing. I was sick of saying something and not doing it. I was sick of telling people about it and then having to tell them when I failed. I was sick of my husband getting on board and ready to help me and then getting frustrated and mad at him when I failed...like it's his fault! LOL. I was just sick of it.
So in my mind I made half resolutions. You know, the kind that are like, it would be nice to...not eat out so much, save more money, work out more, drink more water, and the list goes on and on and on and on and on. You get my point and I think we all have been there.
That is until today.
Today I planned to wake up at 7:00 a.m. and do my morning devotions. I have always wanted to be disciplined enough to do this and in December 2018 I started making it a habit and it has changed my mornings and honestly my whole days. I am NOT a morning person. I could easily sleep until 10:00 a.m. everyday, no problem, but I made it a priority and it was going well. Today, ,my alarm went off at 7:00 a.m. and I hit snooze. At 7:08, I had fallen into a deep sleep, I awoke with a jolt at the snooze. I jumped out of bed, quite literally, I almost knocked the nightstand over. I was so afraid I would miss this special time. At 7:08 I made my way downstairs and grabbed my coffee (which I just started drinking when I started this said devotion time ) and got comfy in my chair.
I snuggled in my chair and pulled out my devotion book. I am reading through Lysa TerKeurst's devotional book Embraced: 100 devotions to know God is holding you close. If you are looking for an amazing morning devotional THIS IS IT! I love it so much that in 100 days I will probably open it back up and start over again.
Today's devotion was about have an undivided heart. This in an excerpt. "An undivided heart." That's what my whole journey in conquering my cravings was about. When it come to my body, I can't live with divided loyalties. I can either be loyal to honoring the Lord with my body or loyal to my cravings, desires, and many excuses from not exercising. I don't know where you might have divided loyalties or what struggles make you think I can't . But are you open to God's leading in how He wants to show HIS power in your life?"
Wowza...blow me away!! This is what I needed so badly.
You see...Diet Coke has divided my loyalties for close to 20 years. I was, lets call it what it is, ADDICTED when I was a junior in high school. I had gotten my drivers license and freedom was in my hands. I started making stops at 7-eleven on the way home from school with a friend and she introduced me to this amazing drink...Diet Coke. I can honestly say at first I didn't really like the taste and it kind of hurt going down. But the freedom to drink it on the stop home from school was enough to have me hooked. My consumption of this dark, calorie free, fizzy pop is known by most of my friends and relatives. You ask any of them who is the person you know who likes/or has a slight obsession with diet coke they would probably say Katie Love.
Most likely I would of found my way out of such an obsession but then I discovered McDonald's diet coke. Honestly, just writing that during the first few hours of not having any makes my mouth water. What is it about McDonald's Diet Coke that is so freaking good?? The temperature, the straws, the fact that they are just $1.00? All of it, it's all of it :)
Ok, I know your thinking...but it's so bad for you. I know it's bad for me I literally think of that almost every time I drink it. But I have also convinced myself that it could be worse. I could be addicted to $7 latte's, or gambling or cocaine. Yes, I think these things LOL.
Today, the idea of divided loyalties and a divided heart was what hit me so strongly. This obsession of mine had stole my time, money, thinking and most likely a little of my health. IT HAD TO STOP! Even, my kids wanted me to stop. Just yesterday my 10 year old daughter said "Mom, let's make a bet, don't drink diet coke for a day and I'll give you $10". Now I don't even think my daughter has $10.00 but I was almost mad at her. I don't WANT to stop drinking it...quit talking about it. Yikes, what kind of example is that setting for her that I am so tied to something I can't let it go without getting angry?
Today, I am letting go. Today is the day Diet Coke no longer divides me from better choices. Today is the day that Diet Coke doesn't call the shots.
IT WILL NOT BE EASY. Most likely within the next 5 hours I will get a headache so bad I will want to lay my head on a cold concreate floor. Most likely in the next 5 hours I will start to get very grumpy. I might say some swears and act a way I am not proud of...but it won't last. Once my body regains control and realizes that aspartame is not coming back the symptoms will go away. I can do this. My loyalties are NOT divided. I will NOT have a divided heart. I will be a champion over this!!
Please think of me. Pray for me. This won't be easy. I have tried before and failed.
So....your probably thinking what in the world does this have to do with organizing??? Good question!!! Our families journey of decluttering, purging and organizing started last year. I have to say it was one of the best years of my life. I felt sharper, my mind was less cluttered, I had less anxiety and less stress. I enjoyed holiday's more, I enjoy being at home more. I didn't feel so unsettled and always so uneasy.
I strongly believe were it not for being organized I would NOT be able to stop Diet Coke. My mind would be to foggy, my emotions and thoughts frazzled. But today, my home feels more in order, my walk with Jesus feel tighter and I am ready. Undivided...here I come!!